Today my sweet baby girl found her tootsies. What an ordeal. After staring at them for weeks, she finally realized that they did in fact belong to her and reached out and grabbed on for dear life. Her very own toes. WOW! Once she realized that she had those little piggies all to herself, she did not want to let them go. We played with those toes all afternoon! Imagine that. These sweet little moments make me realize how quickly she is growing up. I am 50% 30% sad that she will never be that squishy little newborn again and 50% 70% excited to watch her grow into who she will be. This is what I'm totally loving about parenthood- there is always something to look forward to. I am greatly anticipating that first semblance of mobility and watching her crawl around reeking havoc on our (probably under-baby-proofed) house (yes everyone, yes! I know that having a mobile baby is crazy! I hear the "ohhh just wait" comments all. the. time. and guess what? I am just waiting!). I can't wait to see that first little tooth pop through, for her reaction to new food, for her first step, for her first word, for the first outfit she puts together all by herself, for the first Christmas that she falls asleep (probably in midnight mass the way I always did) awaiting Santa's arrival... see?! You hear about the countless sleepless nights, the constant crying, the restrictions babies put on your social life, the cost of diapers and the spit-up coupled with dirty diaper changes rather than the butterflies you get when that tiny human looks right into your eyes and smiles the biggest smile she can muster or the endless list of moments that you get to cherish as a parent. We have a few pregnant friends that I am ecstatic for. There is nothing like becoming a parent... they get to look forward to bringing that new little person home for the first time and later tearing up as you put away the newborn clothes, and being a wife to a daddy (my personal favorite part). Uh-mazing.
This little moment today, these simple pleasures of a baby (feet... feet entertained her for literally hours!) bring me back to reality. By reality I mean the raw, mundane continuity that is every day life. I tend to always feel like I should be doing something. Working, planning, budgeting, exercising, cleaning, doing laundry, the list goes on and on... I don't often take time to not do and to just be. I could never just sit and play with my feet (if you will) for hours on end. Watching my 4 month old's daily pleasures such as sitting with her mommy and reading a book, taking a bath, or pulling on the dog's hair and being surprised and delighted by a slobbery lick to the cheek makes me want to just stop and smell the roses play with my feet. When I was at Belmont Abbey, it was easy to be walking back to the library or the dorm after an 8am class in the quiet parts of campus and stick my nose to the sky, breathing in the simplicity of my life. Now, I have to work for those moments, which I think is more of a blessing than I realize. I appreciate them more. My life still is simple; it is still boring at times, busy at times, sad at times, delightful at times, challenging, exhausting and vastly different than it was 2 short years ago, but it is still beautiful in a way that God designed only for me. I need to learn to absorb and appreciate these times rather than expect them. I am grateful for God's gift of Clara's natural innocence that brings me back to the basics and helps me to find sweetness in the ordinary. It doesn't take breathtaking scenery, an exhilarating experience, or expensive something-or-other to be able to bask in the beauty that surrounds us. For me, all it took was watching a baby girl reach out and grab her toes for the very first time.
“Wherever you go, there you are.”
Thomas a Kempis, The Imitation of Christ
