2011, you rocked.

Merry Christmas from the Lasitters!

It's Advent! Time to brighten up my blog that I have only ever posted to once. I have not forgotten, just not been motivated (and have not had internet at the house up until this very day!)... but here I am and here is an update to John and my little life!

To say that this pregnancy has been difficult is unfortunately an understatement. I am still glowing over every little movement and kick that I take to the ribs and outfit that I pick up mostly because they are reminders that the trial is SO worth the end result. I am already learning what it means to sacrifice as a mother because good gracious, my body has been taken over by this little stinker! The doctor explained to me at my last visit that some women simply just exist to carry their children during pregnancy. Their bodies function only to support that new, fragile little life and everything else goes down the drain. Things like my immune system, for example. I thought being pregnant through fall, winter, and spring would be a breeeeeeze because I don't have to be a million pounds and sweating all the time. Well, it's actually cold and flu season...and when one has a weakened immune system because one's body is giving all it's got to a certain little girl, one stays in a consistent state of sickness. I have been on bed rest 6 times so far and my latest and greatest trial is the beginnings of pneumonia and torn cartilage in my chest from coughing so hard. Sounds awful, and yes, it is, but as I sit here and look at the stack of little frilly little outfits that I've purchased and update my registries and daydream about her arrival, I can't help but smile. Everything is worth it- like St. Therese says, "Everything is grace." Sure, does it stink not being able to do much for myself? Yes. Is it inconvenient to always work from home and not be in a consistent routine and feel like you're falling down on  your job while you know you're giving all you got? Yes. Is it disappointing to cancel plans with friends because you aren't up to doing anything? Yes! But it IS wonderful to spend this quiet time just being with my wonderful husband (whom I will brag heavily on in just a moment) and crazy brown dog before our lives are consumed by our little baby. Not to mention the million other worse things that I could be experiencing and, compared to some women's experiences, I've been handed a piece of cake. Enough of my complaining, you get the picture. At the end of the day, I'm happy as a clam and have stayed in excellent spirits through the whole shabang. :)

John is simply the best. He has taken better care of me than I could have imagined. His help goes from waking up in the wee hours of the morning to help roll me out of bed when I have to get up either to eat, walk around because my hips ache, or go to the bathroom, making me the most delicious PB&J's on command and keeping the pantry stocked with mint Oreos and making meals on a regular basis all the way to raking leaves, working full time+, and keeping the house clean while I sit on my butt!  (Before you curse me for being THAT lazy, I still pay the bills. Something I can do while sitting. (: tehe!) We are approaching our one year anniversary on January 8, 2012. Where has this year gone? Everyone says that your first year of marriage flies by, but it really was just a blink. Here it is in short: we came back from the Bahamas to a vicious ice storm in Greenville, settled into our little townhouse and had our ups and downs for 5 months that included precious baby Will being born to my wonderful best friend and her darling husband, John almost slicing his finger off on our vacuum motor, hilarious neighbors, a new dream job for me, a failed attempt at buying a house, lots of episodes of "Chopped" on the Food Network, and many other fun adventures, then being told that our chances of getting pregnant were very slim without any medical intervention (Clomid was our first hope), mulling over what to do with that news, saying through almost hopeless tears "lets give it a shot, let go and let God..." then being unexpectedly successful (that moment will forever live in my heart. No words can adequately describe it), putting an offer in on our quaint little house, moving out of the townhouse and in with the in-laws (mine, that is), experiencing the joys of delivering the happy news while also experiencing morning sickness, closing on the house, moving into the house, experiencing first baby kicks, successfully executing a new recipe for the turkey at John's Aunt Sara's on Thanksgiving, finding out that baby is a girl and going on a shopping spree, then chugging along until buying Christmas decorations and experiencing our first round of Inn Circle carriage rides Thursdays-Sundays for two weekends (I can hear the horse and carriages making their way past the house now), and now awaiting Christmas and the brand new year. It sounds so...bourgeois in that little paragraph. 2011 has been a banner year for us. For the first time in a long time, I'm finding this upcoming New Year a little bittersweet. In a way, I feel like my life really took flight this year. I gained a whole new set of roles as a new wife, a youth minister (boy I just adore my job), a mother (yes, I count myself as a mother since I'm already taking care of this little girl!), and a homeowner. While I know 2012 will be bringing me the most special gift of my entire life, I cannot leave 2011 behind without reveling in all of the wonderfulness it has brought me. Good thing there's 15 days left to soak in :) Here are some pictures of our banner year.

On our honeymoon

Our very first night in the townhouse

Baby Will's beautiful birthday Feb 2011

John and Ellie at the lake...sweet summertime 2011

A much needed visit August or September 2011

House before we moved in

Clemson, early September 2011

The wedding of Jon and Catherine Overbay, September 2011

November 28, 2011

 

 

Our sweet angel.

where it all begin, January 8 2011

 Top that, 2012. :) I can't wait to see what life has in store next!

Necessary... what a word.

Well, here I am on a delightfully rainy Thursday posting my first ever blog post. Just to clarify- do I really think that anyone gives a hoot what I have to say? No. No, I am not that kind of blogger really believes people will run to open their computer frantically each morning to see what sort of unprecedented knowledge I will deliver next. Truth is, I have limited knowledge, limited life experience, and very limited care as to how many people are followers of this experiment. I wanted to do this for me, sort of as a journal I'm keeping while starting out in my new life and new roles.  "Grown up" life, if you will, is still very fresh for me. There are days I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing or how I got here- married, expecting, working the dream job that I have hoped to work for years but never thought was possible, and as of next week, a home owner. So is this blog necessary? No. But here I am anyway, sharing what life and the world looks like behind my eyes.


What is necessary, then? I included on my little gadgets (or whatever they are called) a quote that has always resounded in me for many reasons that I cannot adequately express. Our Holy Father tells us that "We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary." Every time I read that, the word necessary stuns me...stops me dead in my tracks.  This week has been a taxing one, to say the least. I received news that one can never prepare for, no matter how stable, how positive, and how confident in the grace of God they may be. A dear friend of mine that I have cherished memories with, who made the beautiful candles that sat on the tables at our wedding, who has a beautiful little girl of almost 2 years, chose to end her life on Saturday. I have not had the guts, desire, or the strength to discuss this much with anyone except for my best friend who has simply prayed with me over the phone. I can barely share with my husband who has given me countless long-lasting, sincere hugs and held my hand and  prayed me through moments where I find myself struggling and confused.  I find myself snapping at anyone who asks "why?" or "how?" or tries desperately to look deeper into the soul of this troubled young mother as if it was any of their business.  I had spoken with her just last week and made plans to get together with her this week. I hadn't seen her in a few months; we had exchanged some Facebook posts, text messages, and a few phone calls and I never would have guessed that anything was wrong. When I received this news, I felt like I had been punched right in the gut. The wind was knocked out of me and I was overcome with denial and guilt. What could I have done differently? What if I had made plans with her sooner? Could I have changed something?  The answer will remain unknown- but I know that these questions only serve to make matters worse. I keep going back to the worlds of Pope Benedict.. we are willed, loved, and necessary. There it is again, the feeling of complete confusion.  Why are we necessary? Why is each life necessary?  Why do we matter? As I am faced with the horror of the loss of my precious friend, I am flooded with answers to these questions. We are all necessary to one another. I need the people that surround my life in daily, mundane activities AND those who are inconsistent but positive forces in my life. They are all necessary to my survival because they all, in some large or small way, reveal the personhood of God to me.  They are channels of God's love and grace and matter in a huge way to me. My friend lost sight of her necessity- her necessity to her daughter, to her loving parents and sister, and to her friends who loved her so dearly. She was such a special person, the kind that brings sunshine to a dark room and always had a smile on her face. How can this world tear us apart in this way- when we have such a strong, good God who is waiting for us to hand Him our burdens, how does the world win? Unfortunately, I do not have the answer to that question, and my heart has never hurt in the way it has these past few days.  My heart breaks at the thought of that baby girl never knowing how wonderful her mother was, my friend never knowing my own child, her family grieving in total confusion and helplessness and the utter regret and guilt they must be struggling with, and the thought of her being all alone in such despair.  I cannot describe this hurt nor convey in any way the power it has had over me these past few days.  My best friend told me that I cannot let myself worry that Satan triumphed here- that her intentional death was a victory for that side. She is absolutely right. Satan may have let the world tear her down and spiral her into such despair that she was deaf to the beckoning of God, but that will never mean that she wasn't calling His name in those last moments. God never leaves us alone. "I will not fear, because you are with me."


Today, the day of her visitation, my eyes are opened to the utter gravity of this life. We are physically drawn downward by this world, but in a much more powerful way and by a much more powerful source, we are drawn up towards Heaven.  Never again will I look at this world and the people that I love in the same way. Life is too short, too precious to let the world get the best of you.  I wish I could have told my friend this, hugged her, and told her how necessary she was to this world and how loved she was on this Earth. Today I will let myself be drawn upwards by the gravity of the grace of God and know that I, (and all of you reading) am willed, loved, and totally necessary to the rotation of the Earth. I will no longer be hindered by the unimportant temporary troubles of this world, but embrace the love that draws me towards Heaven.  I guess that's what it's all about- not letting a moment slip by without letting those we love know how important they are to us...and ultimately, not letting a moment slip by.