the honeybee's first birthday

Well, it went as quickly as it came. I can't believe it's now been over a year since my sweet honeybee came into our lives. Times have really changed! I have had so much fun getting to know her and loving her more every day... and I must admit that one of my absolute favorite parts of this whole parenting experience has been watching my husband become a Doo. :) The 14 year old John that I fell in love with would be shocked at how his life turned out. I. love. it.

Here are some recap photos from the party on Saturday from my sister's camera. I did not take very many pictures because I was too busy crying over my baby turning 1 hosting a party! Let me tell you- we weren't supposed to be able to even have this little angel. She was a hope for us, not a guaranteed reality. Yet... here I am, writing this post after her first birthday. God is good people, God is good.

ellie thought balloons meant she was dropped in the hunger games.

beautiful, right?

take those banner skillz, etsy

i'm not so sure, Doo-y.

i like the way it feels...

oh hey... this tastes ok

mama, you gotta try this!

yaayyy!

in case you can't tell what's happening, Grandma and BeBop got the honeybee a castle. they made all three of us get in it.

i'm done.

and one for good luck.

It was a good day and I slept like no one has ever slept that night. Phew!

I owe Kallah a 5 Things response. And next week I'll post pictures of this weekend's projects. The Naptime Decorator has inspired me and I'm going to paint some hand-me-down furniture to see what it's all about. Wish me luck!

revisiting the blogosphere (or whatever it's called)

I've decided to give this whole blogging thing another shot.

My best friend is a super-blogger (and a seriously awesome one at that), my sister has begun her own entertaining ramblings of her adventures in LA and I read literally 3 or 4 blogs-this one being the one I stalked the most- that had nothing extraordinary to say but held my interest earlier today. 

So I'm back! (in my mind I say this in the voice that Kid President has when he says "AND IT HURT MAN!")

And I'm changing it up a wee bit... I'm just going to write whatever happens to be on my mind for any given day without worrying what you people living inside the computer happen think of me. 

There's a lot going on around here these days...including but not limited to a certain baby girl getting ready to turn 1, a particular brown dog trying to share her food, toys and shenanigans with said baby girl, and a husband who deserves to have his ridiculousness plastered all over the interwebz. Then there's me, whose life revolves around those 3 and the messes they make, laundry they produce and their bellies that need to be fed. 

This blog is going to be a chronicle of my little girl (whom I will affectionately refer to as my sweet honeybee), my quirky brown dog and my hilarious husband (whom I will affectionately refer to as Doo-y. Pronounced like 'dewy.' No that's not his name, but that is the name that we gave him instead of "daddy" for same strange strange reason that I will never understand but don't hate).

 I will not try to write perfectly and edit my words and sentences to make myself sound eloquent (if it happens, I'll be a-ok with it). I'm just gonna be me. If that ain't yo style brotha, move on. No sweat off my back.

Here goes nothin'.

finding our feet

Today my sweet baby girl found her tootsies. What an ordeal. After staring at them for weeks, she finally realized that they did in fact belong to her and reached out and grabbed on for dear life. Her very own toes. WOW! Once she realized that she had those little piggies all to herself, she did not want to let them go. We played with those toes all afternoon! Imagine that. These sweet little moments make me realize how quickly she is growing up. I am 50% 30% sad that she will never be that squishy little newborn again and 50% 70% excited to watch her grow into who she will be. This is what I'm totally loving about parenthood- there is always something to look forward to. I am greatly anticipating that first semblance of mobility and watching her crawl around reeking havoc on our (probably under-baby-proofed) house (yes everyone, yes! I know that having a mobile baby is crazy! I hear the "ohhh just wait" comments all. the. time. and guess what? I am just waiting!). I can't wait to see that first little tooth pop through, for her reaction to new food, for her first step, for her first word, for the first outfit she puts together all by herself, for the first Christmas that she falls asleep (probably in midnight mass the way I always did) awaiting Santa's arrival... see?! You hear about the countless sleepless nights, the constant crying, the restrictions babies put on your social life, the cost of diapers and the spit-up coupled with dirty diaper changes rather than the butterflies you get when that tiny human looks right into your eyes and smiles the biggest smile she can muster or the endless list of moments that you get to cherish as a parent. We have a few pregnant friends that I am ecstatic for. There is nothing like becoming a parent... they get to look forward to bringing that new little person home for the first time and later tearing up as you put away the newborn clothes, and being a wife to a daddy (my personal favorite part). Uh-mazing.

This little moment today, these simple pleasures of a baby (feet... feet entertained her for literally hours!) bring me back to reality. By reality I mean the raw, mundane continuity that is every day life.  I tend to always feel like I should be doing something. Working, planning, budgeting, exercising, cleaning, doing laundry, the list goes on and on... I don't often take time to not do and to just be. I could never just sit and play with my feet (if you will) for hours on end. Watching my 4 month old's daily pleasures such as sitting with her mommy and reading a book, taking a bath, or pulling on the dog's hair and being surprised and delighted by a slobbery lick to the cheek makes me want to just stop and smell the roses play with my feet. When I was at Belmont Abbey, it was easy to be walking back to the library or the dorm after an 8am class in the quiet parts of campus and stick my nose to the sky, breathing in the simplicity of my life. Now, I have to work for those moments, which I think is more of a blessing than I realize. I appreciate them more. My life still is simple; it is still boring at times, busy at times, sad at times, delightful at times, challenging, exhausting and vastly different than it was 2 short years ago, but it is still beautiful in a way that God designed only for me. I need to learn to absorb and appreciate these times rather than expect them. I am grateful for God's gift of Clara's natural innocence that brings me back to the basics and helps me to find sweetness in the ordinary. It doesn't take breathtaking scenery, an exhilarating experience, or expensive something-or-other to be able to bask in the beauty that surrounds us.  For me, all it took was watching a baby girl reach out and grab her toes for the very first time.

“Wherever you go, there you are.” 

Thomas a Kempis, The Imitation of Christ

Dear Clara Mae

Meet Clara Mae, the light of my life, born April 3, 2012 at 2:13pm, weighing in at 5lb 6oz and measuring 18.5" long (currently sleeping across my lap making adorable faces).

 

For months now, in between learning how to balance the weight of being a wife and a mother, and a job that I love while fumbling my way through sleepless nights and learning to exist solely to keep this tiny human alive, I have been concocting a list of things I'd like to tell her over the span of my time with her. She is a beautiful, clever, expressive little girl and I already know she'll be able to hold her own out in the world one day. Don't ask how I know such a thing- I'm a mom now. I claim my right to have these sorts of instincts.  I suppose I'd like to share with her things that I've learned over my sweet 24 years of life. I am inspired and tickled by Tina Fey's prayer for her daughter (look to the left of the blog, you'll find it there, but do yourself a favor and Google it). So, here, in no particular order, is my ever-evolving list of things that I'll need to tell her one day.  Where is a better place to store these thoughts than in cyber space?! (do people still call the internet cyber space... nevermind. don't answer that.)

1. Never allow anything to become more important to you than your relationship with God. It is the only thing that will be a constant in your life, as well as your most abundant source of strength, wisdom, grace, and love.  

2. You were made to know, love, and serve the Lord and to become a saint. Pursue this life, not because it's what you're SUPPOSED to do but because you were created for it and will be the most fulfilled in this pursuit. If you did not possess the ability to become a saint, God would not call you to sainthood. 

3. Don't listen to people when they tell you "God will not give you more than you can handle." God DOES give you more than you can handle so that you learn to give it back to Him. 

4. Do not listen to rap music, please, for the sake of your mother.

5. Don't waste your time planning your life, live it. Make smart, informed choices but seek to follow God's will and take everything one day at a time. 

6. As a very wise woman once said, let God mess with you. Don't ever be afraid to say 'yes' to what God calls you to.

7. Stand your ground. Say what you think. Be kind, but don't hold back. Dr. Suess says, "be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." 

8. Never be ashamed of who you are.

9. It's ok to make mistakes. Be big enough to admit them and learn from them. It will be of no use to anyone to make excuses- own up, face it, and move along.

10. I hope you know what a wonderful man you have for a father.  He's goofy and fun and ridiculous and you will learn a great deal about sucking the most joy out of life possible from him. When he is curt with and makes a laughable attempt to intimidate your boyfriend when you're 30 a (late) teenager, remember that he spent 9 months taking care of you before ever laying eyes on you...and after you were born, started figuring out ways to keep you all to himself for as long as he lives. In other words, the love he has for you is something you will never be able to comprehend.

11. If you hate me don't want anything to do with me one day for any stint of time in the midst of teenage angst and embarrassment over anything that isn't showcasing all of your cool-ness, I promise to still be here when you come back around (and I won't take it personally)... but don't blame me for daydreaming about these days that I'm living now where you would stop crying when I came around and give me a big smile every time you saw me. I'm holding on tight to those memories, kiddo. You'll never know the love that I have for you, either.

Sorry, Mom, for doing this to you. You win in the "more" debate. It's now recorded for the whole world to see. Love you! :)

12. Be kind to other people and meet them where they're at. The world is full of diversity and not everyone will think the way that you do- be ready to love them in those moments while standing firm in what you believe.

13. Forgive your father for giving you the nickname "Clambake."  And me for playing along. 
We'll see if that one sticks. 

14. Don't get mad at Ellie when she eats some of your toys. :\

15. Enjoy the little things. Life doesn't have to be extravagant to be wonderful. Soak up the moments that you feel happiest in. 

16. Your heart will probably be broken more than one time for various reasons. (In this event, remember #1 on this list). It's okay to be sad and okay to cry, but when you're done, pick yourself up and surround yourself with love. Your dad and I are a great place to start. 

17. Try not to be too embarrassed by your father and me. We promise that we'll try our best to not be "those" parents, but we also promise to keep your moments from being too dull. :)

18. Boys can be mean. It is not always the case that when a boy is mean to you, he is flirting. If he is trying to flirt, take caution. Your dad was never mean to me.

19. Be a lady. Be confident, but not conceited.

20. Know what you deserve and how you should be treated. Treat others this way, also. You are not better than anyone, only different with different strengths and weaknesses.  You'll never meet someone that you cannot learn something from.

21. Pray, always. God doesn't get sick of hearing from you. In fact, He looks forward to it.

Until the next list... <3

Waking with the rooster

Here I sit at 6:53 on a quiet Saturday morning, glancing out the window at the pending sunrise that's sneaking through my back door. These moments of sheer silence and restfulness will be few and far between in just a matter of weeks, and for this, I could not be more excited. 

I woke up around 4:15 this morning with the usual third trimester insomnia and decided that instead of staying in bed and hoping to fall back asleep, that I would just get up and wait for John to wake up in a few hours (something he is used to doing for me on these same Saturday mornings). I wrapped a blanket around my body, put on a hat and took Ellie outside for a little wee early morning playtime. While she flayed herself about the yard and took a leisurely roll in the cold grass, I was tickled to hear an unfamiliar sound- a rooster cock-a-doodle-dooing right around the corner! Now listen, I'm a southern girl, yes- but I was not raised on a farm and have secretly always wanted to wake up to the sound of a rooster.  Laugh at me all you want, I can cross something off of my bucket list.  I now recall John mentioning a few weeks ago that we did have a rooster nearby but not close enough for us to hear from our bedroom. I can't wait to tell him about my morning and how the sound spooked our funny brown dog so much so that she was digging at bushes in attempt to rid herself of the sound of said rooster.  After a few throws of the tennis ball and the decision that my toes had gotten too cold, Ellie and I made our way inside where she drank a bowl of water and walked down the hall to the bedroom to get back into her warm bed next to her favorite companion. 

So, alone I am once again. :) I am getting quite used to spending time by myself- strict bed rest after preterm labor scares has managed to glue me to either the couch or my bed with only 10 minute intervals of time allowed on my feet. Usually, I would complain about this as I don't watch very much TV and get extremely bored and have read books to my heart's content, but these days, the contractions are so painful and every step I take jeopardizes the health of my baby girl that I will do whatever it takes to keep her in there for just a few more weeks, safe and sound before the madness of this world wraps itself around her all too quickly.

This morning I am stuck in the thick of mixed feelings regarding the passage of time.  A dear friend of mine came to visit me yesterday and we chatted about our days at Belmont Abbey and how different our lives were just two short years ago and I've been reveling in silly memories ever since.  This is until I woke up this morning and realized again that today is my very best friend's little boy's first birthday.  I feel [old] so overwhelmed by how quickly this year went by!  I can remember this day a year ago when Jason called to tell me that Kallah was having this long-awaited baby boy and crying on my way home from work knowing that I would meet that little man in a matter of hours. Besides my wedding day and the moment I found out that I was pregnant against all odds, this was one of the most exhilarating, special moments of my adult life. My best friend, whom I have gone through thick and thin with and have grown to love as my own sister, was having a baby. I don't know if I've ever felt so much joy on another's behalf as I did for Jason and Kallah that day. That special day, a whole year ago now! (See my post below about my feelings towards 2011- it was an excellent, excellent year.) Time passes in the blink of an eye. Yesterday I was in my in-laws' kitchen announcing the impending arrival of our little addition and today I am embarking upon my 33rd week of pregnancy. We are settled into our house, New Year's came and went, our 1 year anniversary slipped right through my fingers, my mother now has a new husband and there is a crib sitting in our third bedroom. Phew! See what I mean? It flies! I am in love with my life right now- I couldn't be happier in my job, in our house, with my wonderful husband who lets me know each day how much he loves me, and that our little girl's arrival is right around the corner. What I am nervous about is waking up one day and realizing it's MY little girl's first birthday- or, better yet, FIFTH birthday! Time has sped up since I got married, what makes me think that it won't take off even faster after this little person joins our family? A recurring theme for me in these posts seems to be soaking up every little moment of our time here- and I hope that God will give me the grace to do so as diligently as I would like. Life is too short and goes by far too quickly to let the little things, like a hungry, hungry caterpillar first birthday party or reveling in the simplicity of waking up to the sound of a rooster, go unnoticed.
So here's to Will, and here's to the rooster. Happy Saturday, dear friends. I hope you enjoy each moment, no matter what you're doing. :)

2011, you rocked.

Merry Christmas from the Lasitters!

It's Advent! Time to brighten up my blog that I have only ever posted to once. I have not forgotten, just not been motivated (and have not had internet at the house up until this very day!)... but here I am and here is an update to John and my little life!

To say that this pregnancy has been difficult is unfortunately an understatement. I am still glowing over every little movement and kick that I take to the ribs and outfit that I pick up mostly because they are reminders that the trial is SO worth the end result. I am already learning what it means to sacrifice as a mother because good gracious, my body has been taken over by this little stinker! The doctor explained to me at my last visit that some women simply just exist to carry their children during pregnancy. Their bodies function only to support that new, fragile little life and everything else goes down the drain. Things like my immune system, for example. I thought being pregnant through fall, winter, and spring would be a breeeeeeze because I don't have to be a million pounds and sweating all the time. Well, it's actually cold and flu season...and when one has a weakened immune system because one's body is giving all it's got to a certain little girl, one stays in a consistent state of sickness. I have been on bed rest 6 times so far and my latest and greatest trial is the beginnings of pneumonia and torn cartilage in my chest from coughing so hard. Sounds awful, and yes, it is, but as I sit here and look at the stack of little frilly little outfits that I've purchased and update my registries and daydream about her arrival, I can't help but smile. Everything is worth it- like St. Therese says, "Everything is grace." Sure, does it stink not being able to do much for myself? Yes. Is it inconvenient to always work from home and not be in a consistent routine and feel like you're falling down on  your job while you know you're giving all you got? Yes. Is it disappointing to cancel plans with friends because you aren't up to doing anything? Yes! But it IS wonderful to spend this quiet time just being with my wonderful husband (whom I will brag heavily on in just a moment) and crazy brown dog before our lives are consumed by our little baby. Not to mention the million other worse things that I could be experiencing and, compared to some women's experiences, I've been handed a piece of cake. Enough of my complaining, you get the picture. At the end of the day, I'm happy as a clam and have stayed in excellent spirits through the whole shabang. :)

John is simply the best. He has taken better care of me than I could have imagined. His help goes from waking up in the wee hours of the morning to help roll me out of bed when I have to get up either to eat, walk around because my hips ache, or go to the bathroom, making me the most delicious PB&J's on command and keeping the pantry stocked with mint Oreos and making meals on a regular basis all the way to raking leaves, working full time+, and keeping the house clean while I sit on my butt!  (Before you curse me for being THAT lazy, I still pay the bills. Something I can do while sitting. (: tehe!) We are approaching our one year anniversary on January 8, 2012. Where has this year gone? Everyone says that your first year of marriage flies by, but it really was just a blink. Here it is in short: we came back from the Bahamas to a vicious ice storm in Greenville, settled into our little townhouse and had our ups and downs for 5 months that included precious baby Will being born to my wonderful best friend and her darling husband, John almost slicing his finger off on our vacuum motor, hilarious neighbors, a new dream job for me, a failed attempt at buying a house, lots of episodes of "Chopped" on the Food Network, and many other fun adventures, then being told that our chances of getting pregnant were very slim without any medical intervention (Clomid was our first hope), mulling over what to do with that news, saying through almost hopeless tears "lets give it a shot, let go and let God..." then being unexpectedly successful (that moment will forever live in my heart. No words can adequately describe it), putting an offer in on our quaint little house, moving out of the townhouse and in with the in-laws (mine, that is), experiencing the joys of delivering the happy news while also experiencing morning sickness, closing on the house, moving into the house, experiencing first baby kicks, successfully executing a new recipe for the turkey at John's Aunt Sara's on Thanksgiving, finding out that baby is a girl and going on a shopping spree, then chugging along until buying Christmas decorations and experiencing our first round of Inn Circle carriage rides Thursdays-Sundays for two weekends (I can hear the horse and carriages making their way past the house now), and now awaiting Christmas and the brand new year. It sounds so...bourgeois in that little paragraph. 2011 has been a banner year for us. For the first time in a long time, I'm finding this upcoming New Year a little bittersweet. In a way, I feel like my life really took flight this year. I gained a whole new set of roles as a new wife, a youth minister (boy I just adore my job), a mother (yes, I count myself as a mother since I'm already taking care of this little girl!), and a homeowner. While I know 2012 will be bringing me the most special gift of my entire life, I cannot leave 2011 behind without reveling in all of the wonderfulness it has brought me. Good thing there's 15 days left to soak in :) Here are some pictures of our banner year.

On our honeymoon

Our very first night in the townhouse

Baby Will's beautiful birthday Feb 2011

John and Ellie at the lake...sweet summertime 2011

A much needed visit August or September 2011

House before we moved in

Clemson, early September 2011

The wedding of Jon and Catherine Overbay, September 2011

November 28, 2011

 

 

Our sweet angel.

where it all begin, January 8 2011

 Top that, 2012. :) I can't wait to see what life has in store next!

Necessary... what a word.

Well, here I am on a delightfully rainy Thursday posting my first ever blog post. Just to clarify- do I really think that anyone gives a hoot what I have to say? No. No, I am not that kind of blogger really believes people will run to open their computer frantically each morning to see what sort of unprecedented knowledge I will deliver next. Truth is, I have limited knowledge, limited life experience, and very limited care as to how many people are followers of this experiment. I wanted to do this for me, sort of as a journal I'm keeping while starting out in my new life and new roles.  "Grown up" life, if you will, is still very fresh for me. There are days I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing or how I got here- married, expecting, working the dream job that I have hoped to work for years but never thought was possible, and as of next week, a home owner. So is this blog necessary? No. But here I am anyway, sharing what life and the world looks like behind my eyes.


What is necessary, then? I included on my little gadgets (or whatever they are called) a quote that has always resounded in me for many reasons that I cannot adequately express. Our Holy Father tells us that "We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary." Every time I read that, the word necessary stuns me...stops me dead in my tracks.  This week has been a taxing one, to say the least. I received news that one can never prepare for, no matter how stable, how positive, and how confident in the grace of God they may be. A dear friend of mine that I have cherished memories with, who made the beautiful candles that sat on the tables at our wedding, who has a beautiful little girl of almost 2 years, chose to end her life on Saturday. I have not had the guts, desire, or the strength to discuss this much with anyone except for my best friend who has simply prayed with me over the phone. I can barely share with my husband who has given me countless long-lasting, sincere hugs and held my hand and  prayed me through moments where I find myself struggling and confused.  I find myself snapping at anyone who asks "why?" or "how?" or tries desperately to look deeper into the soul of this troubled young mother as if it was any of their business.  I had spoken with her just last week and made plans to get together with her this week. I hadn't seen her in a few months; we had exchanged some Facebook posts, text messages, and a few phone calls and I never would have guessed that anything was wrong. When I received this news, I felt like I had been punched right in the gut. The wind was knocked out of me and I was overcome with denial and guilt. What could I have done differently? What if I had made plans with her sooner? Could I have changed something?  The answer will remain unknown- but I know that these questions only serve to make matters worse. I keep going back to the worlds of Pope Benedict.. we are willed, loved, and necessary. There it is again, the feeling of complete confusion.  Why are we necessary? Why is each life necessary?  Why do we matter? As I am faced with the horror of the loss of my precious friend, I am flooded with answers to these questions. We are all necessary to one another. I need the people that surround my life in daily, mundane activities AND those who are inconsistent but positive forces in my life. They are all necessary to my survival because they all, in some large or small way, reveal the personhood of God to me.  They are channels of God's love and grace and matter in a huge way to me. My friend lost sight of her necessity- her necessity to her daughter, to her loving parents and sister, and to her friends who loved her so dearly. She was such a special person, the kind that brings sunshine to a dark room and always had a smile on her face. How can this world tear us apart in this way- when we have such a strong, good God who is waiting for us to hand Him our burdens, how does the world win? Unfortunately, I do not have the answer to that question, and my heart has never hurt in the way it has these past few days.  My heart breaks at the thought of that baby girl never knowing how wonderful her mother was, my friend never knowing my own child, her family grieving in total confusion and helplessness and the utter regret and guilt they must be struggling with, and the thought of her being all alone in such despair.  I cannot describe this hurt nor convey in any way the power it has had over me these past few days.  My best friend told me that I cannot let myself worry that Satan triumphed here- that her intentional death was a victory for that side. She is absolutely right. Satan may have let the world tear her down and spiral her into such despair that she was deaf to the beckoning of God, but that will never mean that she wasn't calling His name in those last moments. God never leaves us alone. "I will not fear, because you are with me."


Today, the day of her visitation, my eyes are opened to the utter gravity of this life. We are physically drawn downward by this world, but in a much more powerful way and by a much more powerful source, we are drawn up towards Heaven.  Never again will I look at this world and the people that I love in the same way. Life is too short, too precious to let the world get the best of you.  I wish I could have told my friend this, hugged her, and told her how necessary she was to this world and how loved she was on this Earth. Today I will let myself be drawn upwards by the gravity of the grace of God and know that I, (and all of you reading) am willed, loved, and totally necessary to the rotation of the Earth. I will no longer be hindered by the unimportant temporary troubles of this world, but embrace the love that draws me towards Heaven.  I guess that's what it's all about- not letting a moment slip by without letting those we love know how important they are to us...and ultimately, not letting a moment slip by.