Dear Clara Mae

Meet Clara Mae, the light of my life, born April 3, 2012 at 2:13pm, weighing in at 5lb 6oz and measuring 18.5" long (currently sleeping across my lap making adorable faces).

 

For months now, in between learning how to balance the weight of being a wife and a mother, and a job that I love while fumbling my way through sleepless nights and learning to exist solely to keep this tiny human alive, I have been concocting a list of things I'd like to tell her over the span of my time with her. She is a beautiful, clever, expressive little girl and I already know she'll be able to hold her own out in the world one day. Don't ask how I know such a thing- I'm a mom now. I claim my right to have these sorts of instincts.  I suppose I'd like to share with her things that I've learned over my sweet 24 years of life. I am inspired and tickled by Tina Fey's prayer for her daughter (look to the left of the blog, you'll find it there, but do yourself a favor and Google it). So, here, in no particular order, is my ever-evolving list of things that I'll need to tell her one day.  Where is a better place to store these thoughts than in cyber space?! (do people still call the internet cyber space... nevermind. don't answer that.)

1. Never allow anything to become more important to you than your relationship with God. It is the only thing that will be a constant in your life, as well as your most abundant source of strength, wisdom, grace, and love.  

2. You were made to know, love, and serve the Lord and to become a saint. Pursue this life, not because it's what you're SUPPOSED to do but because you were created for it and will be the most fulfilled in this pursuit. If you did not possess the ability to become a saint, God would not call you to sainthood. 

3. Don't listen to people when they tell you "God will not give you more than you can handle." God DOES give you more than you can handle so that you learn to give it back to Him. 

4. Do not listen to rap music, please, for the sake of your mother.

5. Don't waste your time planning your life, live it. Make smart, informed choices but seek to follow God's will and take everything one day at a time. 

6. As a very wise woman once said, let God mess with you. Don't ever be afraid to say 'yes' to what God calls you to.

7. Stand your ground. Say what you think. Be kind, but don't hold back. Dr. Suess says, "be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." 

8. Never be ashamed of who you are.

9. It's ok to make mistakes. Be big enough to admit them and learn from them. It will be of no use to anyone to make excuses- own up, face it, and move along.

10. I hope you know what a wonderful man you have for a father.  He's goofy and fun and ridiculous and you will learn a great deal about sucking the most joy out of life possible from him. When he is curt with and makes a laughable attempt to intimidate your boyfriend when you're 30 a (late) teenager, remember that he spent 9 months taking care of you before ever laying eyes on you...and after you were born, started figuring out ways to keep you all to himself for as long as he lives. In other words, the love he has for you is something you will never be able to comprehend.

11. If you hate me don't want anything to do with me one day for any stint of time in the midst of teenage angst and embarrassment over anything that isn't showcasing all of your cool-ness, I promise to still be here when you come back around (and I won't take it personally)... but don't blame me for daydreaming about these days that I'm living now where you would stop crying when I came around and give me a big smile every time you saw me. I'm holding on tight to those memories, kiddo. You'll never know the love that I have for you, either.

Sorry, Mom, for doing this to you. You win in the "more" debate. It's now recorded for the whole world to see. Love you! :)

12. Be kind to other people and meet them where they're at. The world is full of diversity and not everyone will think the way that you do- be ready to love them in those moments while standing firm in what you believe.

13. Forgive your father for giving you the nickname "Clambake."  And me for playing along. 
We'll see if that one sticks. 

14. Don't get mad at Ellie when she eats some of your toys. :\

15. Enjoy the little things. Life doesn't have to be extravagant to be wonderful. Soak up the moments that you feel happiest in. 

16. Your heart will probably be broken more than one time for various reasons. (In this event, remember #1 on this list). It's okay to be sad and okay to cry, but when you're done, pick yourself up and surround yourself with love. Your dad and I are a great place to start. 

17. Try not to be too embarrassed by your father and me. We promise that we'll try our best to not be "those" parents, but we also promise to keep your moments from being too dull. :)

18. Boys can be mean. It is not always the case that when a boy is mean to you, he is flirting. If he is trying to flirt, take caution. Your dad was never mean to me.

19. Be a lady. Be confident, but not conceited.

20. Know what you deserve and how you should be treated. Treat others this way, also. You are not better than anyone, only different with different strengths and weaknesses.  You'll never meet someone that you cannot learn something from.

21. Pray, always. God doesn't get sick of hearing from you. In fact, He looks forward to it.

Until the next list... <3